You're a Reality TV star, didn't you know?

Oh, yes. Casting directors are looking for YOU. All YOU have to do is get noticed. And YOU learn how to get noticed by dropping $19.95 (online orders accepted) for this video hosted by a few of MTV's Real World and Road Rules veterans.

Once again, cast members of these shows prove that we're all idiots for having never applied to "have our lives taped and aired in front of 50 bazillion people." These guys have all sorts of business opportunities. And now that I'm beyond the 24-year-old ceiling for the shows, I'm dying to get in. I'd give anything to have MTV come to my house and follow me around as I eat burritos, put my recycled trash on the curb and holler for my spouse.

Wait a minute. I guess MTV's already done that show. It's called "The Osbournes."

Does that make me a goober like Ozzy?