Another missed career

So by now, we know that I have immense, kidney-punch regret that I never sent in an application for MTV's Real World. Had I been picked to have my life taped for a few months in some expense-paid pad in a cool city, I could now be touring the country as a reality TV star.

Here's another career I failed to recognize soon enough: wrestling. I'd have to be in the welterweight category, yes, because God didn't give me power-forward height. But after injection some performance-enhancing cocktails, I could look like my wrestling hero and fellow Texan, Stone Cold Steve Austin:



Luckily for me, Stone Cold is coming back to World Wrestling Entertainment after a year of contractual squabbling with the company. And this is why I think I missed out on the career: WWE is starting to produce movies and cast their wrestling stars in them, according to Rajah.com. The company first sold their merchandise, then books and DVDs. This is a cash-cow bonanza.

This deal between WWE and Austin allows Steve to use his “Stone Cold” name. It also puts him in a position of working with people that have a ready-made audience for his films and will treat him like a star. It gives WWE a star to market to their fans, and also will make it possible to get Austin on WWE programming from time to time. As long as the films make a little money, it’s a great move for both sides.

Alas, it all makes me think of Marlon Brando's famous line from On The Waterfront:

"I coulda been sombawdy. I coulda been a contendah."